Never see your light again
by hyndara71
Summary: EpisodeTAG 2.15 Mr. Sandman. Nick's thoughts and emotions on his way to the spice-shop after Andre blinded him


**Disclaimer:** Grimm is the property of NBC, Hazy Mills Production, CK Production and a lot of others. Nothing mine, only the idea.

* * *

"Everything's alright, Nick?"

Nick swallowed but nodded, moving his head and rubbing his eyelids again.

Damned, this hurt! It hurt so much! Even more because he already knew the end:

Kelly, the last vic, with those worms curling out of what former were her eyes but now were nothing more than black and bloody holes in her face.

Nick thought he just could feel how those worms were now eating his eyeballs. He felt a sharp and stinging pain in his eyes.

What would happen to him IF they wouldn't find a cure? Monroe didn't sound too positive when Hank called him.

Nick pressed his lips together, trying to ignore the consequences.

Blindness, forever caught in this endless night. Never again seeing the faces of the people, the trees in the park, Monroe's warm eyes … Juliette's lovely face.

This hurt the most.

What if they wouldn't find a cure? What if he would be blind?

A blind Grimm? A blind detective?

How he was supposed to do his jobs without using his eyes? How he would recognize Wesen without his eyes? How he could win Juliette back without seeing her reactions to possible future-attempts?

"We will be at the Spice-Shop in a few minutes, man", Hank told him.

The damage was already done.

He wouldn't be able to do his jobs anymore, never! Without eyes there was no way of being a Grimm and survive. He had to look after possible enemies, he has to recognize them.

Nick felt bitterness.

Anyway how hard all of this had become during the last months he still loved it to be a Grimm. He loved the diversity of the Wesen, not only putting them into categories but also all of them. Not one Wesen looked like the other. Some of them were really beautiful.

How he could be a Grimm without seeing Wesen? How he … ?

What if he would never be able to see again? This would also mean, he would never be able to draw anymore. Never again.

His hurting eyes began to burn. Nick pushed his eyeballs with his fingertips and felt warm tears running down his cheeks.

Drawing always was a part of his life. He saw some things different from others because he looked at them with the eyes of someone who probably want to draw those things or people or animals or whatever. And with the ability to see behind the human-mask he also had again begun to draw last year. And he really wouldn't miss this anymore.

But how he should do this without using his eyes?

"Everything's okay, partner?" Hank asked.

Nick nodded again.

Blind, living in the dark forever. And the last thing he would have been seen was this damned Jinnamuru Xunte how he jumped out of the window.

Nick again felt bitterness, and now helplessness.

If he would have a second chance he would be prepared. Why the hell he didn't moved his head when that fly-guy woged into his Wesen-form? Why he looked him straight in the face?

Because he didn't know how the Jinnamuru Xunte blinded his other victims. They only had seen the result, not how he did it. Now he knew it by first hand – great!

What if he would be staying blind? What if Rosalee and Monroe wouldn't find a cure?

Juliette's pretty face came out of Nick's memory.

What if he would never be able to see her again? How he could win her back without seeing her? What if she would take him back because she felt bad for him, the blind and helpless guy she once was in love with.

Nick's heart began to hurt.

He so wanted Juliette back, wanted to love her again, wanted to live with her … still wanted her to become his wife one day. But …

A hard pain in his head and his heart let him curl up a bit.

"Everything's alright, Nick?"

He felt Hank's hand on his shoulder and nodded again. "I'm okay, Hank. It … it's only hurting a bit."

"Maybe I should better drive you to the hospital, anyway what you will say, man. You don't look too good right now."

If there was a chance, Rosalee and Monroe would find it. But the usual doctor at a usual hospital surely not.

"Spice-Shop, Hank. We're already there, right? It should be right around the corner."

"Yeah, man, we're there."

But if he would never see Juliette again … ? It would feel like he was a plant in the dark, Nick realized. He would feel so, slowly dieing unable to see her light anymore …


End file.
